When you share a life with someone, the success of your spouse’s goals significantly depends on you. Your actions will either support or hinder the success of his/her efforts.
Discuss how you aim to reach your better self. How will your routine work towards your and your spouse’s new goals?
Next month will be 1 year that we started new jobs, with different schedules, which meant a new routine. Roger trains in the morning before biking to work, and is home around 5. I start work 15mil away at 6:30am, so I train in the evening after leaving work at 4pm. I was not used to running at night, so I joined run groups that started at 6pm straight from work. We both had solo dinners, his at 5pm and mine after 7pm. I wanted to share what we went through in this discovery.
Woody Allen was quoted by saying, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” Reviewing my past year, sure I had “showed up” for sport goals but my spousal development was lacking. I felt the hours of time without my husband were lost into the abyss of the past. I missed our habit of making and having dinner together, and creating opportunities to be home for each other. Discussing each of our new goals, I wanted to have dinner at least 5x a week together, and he shared he wanted to be kinder to me. This was profound because I was being able to count on one hand the quality time I was making for us to spend together during a week. In order to make his goal possible, I needed to be present!
I had to address the motivation questions. I was willing to change how I was using and scheduling my hours in order to be ready for dinner by 6pm. To make this change, I need to leave work exactly on time to beat rush hour, I need to adjust where I trained after work – and Roger was flexible to move dinner from 5:30pm to 6pm so that we could share it together. Before changing my training routine, I needed to base the volume on the upcoming race calendar.
I broke it down in order to achieve the S.M.A.R.T goal setting:
Each of us is powerful, and capable of handling many things. But some aspects of life only you can do. We make time for what is important to us, even subconsciously.
Luke 12:34 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Since I have a specific window to workout, I put forth more effort to have an efficient session. Spending an extra 2 hours together in the evenings has been such an improvement, to the roommate-style updates we’d exchange in passing between cleaning up or going to bed.
I’ve had the best month emotionally in a long time, I’ve allowed myself to be present. I ranked top at my dept for sales. Unfortunately I’ve run less than before, but I’ve felt great putting our quality time together as my day’s focus. Acknowledge and act to make your goals a success.